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Self-love – Why Loving Yourself By Dr Deborah Lee, DR Fox Online Pharmacy

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Self-love is something we often don't think enough about. However, there are so many reasons why a person learning to love themselves will enhance every aspect of their life, at work and at home. There are two integral aspects of self-love – self-esteem and self-compassion. Studies have shown that those with higher levels of self-esteem and self-compassion have better mental well-being and display greater resilience in life. Here’s why by Dr Deborah Lee, Dr Fox Online Pharmacy. Those with high self-esteem are less self-critical Self-esteem underpins a person’s motivation to take care of themself. Having high self-esteem means an individual stops feeling so critical of themself and learns to accept who they are and how others perceive them. Those with high self-esteem have stronger social connections Self-esteem also governs relationship values with other people. Those with high self-esteem feel valued by their friends and colleagues and believe their thoughts, opinions and feelings matter. They have strong social skills and remain connected. Whereas those with low self-esteem feel worthless and undervalued, which can lead to anxiety, social exclusion and loneliness. Those with high self-esteem have happier lives High levels of self-esteem allow people to adapt to different environments and challenges.  Research shows that those with high self-esteem tend to be happier, have a positive outlook, better quality of life and life satisfaction. In a 2015 meta-analysis which included over 16,000 participants, the authors concluded that people with higher levels of self-compassion scored more highly for happiness, positivity, optimism, life satisfaction, belongingness and autonomy. Those with high self-esteem deal better with the knowledge of their own mortality Self-esteem is a way humans buffer themselves from the only certainty about life – death. This is known as the terror theory. All of us know we will die one day, and we cope with the knowledge by having order, predictability and social structure in our lives. Those with the highest self-esteem have a more positive attitude and cope better with the thoughts of their own mortality. Those with low self esteem have lower productivity at work In the workplace, low self confidence leads to reluctance to ask questions, strained work relationships with colleagues, over zealousness or laziness, and can lead to being overly sensitivity, perfectionism and may result in rebellious behaviour. How to measure self-esteem Self-esteem can be measured using a validated questionnaire such as The Rozenberg Self-Esteem Scale. Higher scores indicate higher self-esteem. Signs of low self-esteem include always thinking of yourself in a negative way, focusing on your failures, not your achievements, and blaming yourself when things go wrong. The roots of poor self-esteem often lie in poor childhood experiences and lack of educational achievement. How to improve self-esteem
  • Practise self-love  - Each person should think about what makes them happy or sad. They could start writing their thoughts and feelings in a diary. Another option is looking in the mirror and saying positive things to themselves every day. Challenge negative thoughts with the exact opposite. Each person needs to learn to say ‘No.’ They shouldn’t  spend time comparing themselves with other people  - the world is full of different types of people.
  • Listen to the positives – If given a compliment, the person should accept it and not bat it away. Its vital people recognise their successes and praise themselves. They should also treat themselves to something they enjoy. Everyone should take note and be proud of what they are good at.
  • Connect with others – Each person should reach out to friends and family so their social life is reasonably busy. Everyone needs a support network. Time spent with friends and family should be enjoyable and memorable. Building ties with other people is important. 
Always remember that if anyone is unhappy, needs to talk to someone, and there is no one available, The Samaritans have a free phone number 24/7.
  • Get professional help – Talking therapy such as counselling or cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) can help build self-esteem. Anyone can self-refer for NHS talking therapy if they are suffering from anxiety or depression, which are commonly linked.
  • Set a challenge – Any challenge is a good challenge. It might be a sponsored walk, bike ride or swim. Or perhaps try volunteering. Maybe take up a new hobby, such as joining a book club, dressmaking, gardening or learning a new language. This gets a person out of the house and interacting with other people.
  • Taking care of yourself – Eating well, taking regular exercise and getting enough sleep are all basic ways a person is caring for themselves. They also need to make time for themselves to do the things they enjoy, as well as find time to destress. Everyone needs time alone to process their thoughts during the day.
(Mind) Final thoughts It might be a surprise to learn that self-esteem has so much influence on life, but it does. If a person can show themselves some self-love, this will reap many benefits both at work and at home.  Refs https://www.verywellmind.com/ways-to-practice-self-love-5667417 https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10406111/ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7846381/

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