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8 Ways To Be An Empathetic Leader Without Being A Doormat, By Lauren Seager-Smith, CEO Of The For Baby’s Sake Trust

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Empathy is essential for effective leadership, but exercising it without compromising authority can be challenging. Leading with empathy is not about becoming a doormat — it is about fostering a workplace environment where everyone feels heard and valued. Here are eight tips for being an empathetic leader without compromising your leadership from Lauren Seager-Smith, CEO at the For Baby’s Sake trust. Listen actively Active listening is the cornerstone of empathy. It involves giving your full attention to the speaker and acknowledging their feelings. As Brené Brown says, “Empathy has no script. There is no right way or wrong way to do it. It’s simply listening, holding space, withholding judgment, emotionally connecting, and communicating that incredibly healing message of ‘You’re not alone.’” By truly listening, leaders can understand their team’s concerns and respond appropriately, demonstrating genuine care without being overly permissive. Set clear boundaries Empathy does not mean tolerating unacceptable behaviour. It is essential to set clear, firm boundaries and to model and insist on accountability for all. Brené Brown notes, “I believe that what we regret most are our failures of courage, whether it’s the courage to be kinder, to show up, to say how we feel, to set boundaries, or to be good to ourselves. For that reason, regret can be the birthplace of empathy.” Setting boundaries ensures that while you are understanding and supportive, you also maintain the standards necessary for a productive workplace. Practice vulnerability Vulnerability is at the heart of authentic leadership. Sharing your own experiences and challenges can build trust and openness within your team. Brené Brown highlights, “Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. It is the source of hope, empathy, accountability, and authenticity.” By being vulnerable, leaders show that it is okay to be human, which encourages others to be honest and open as well. You may find that there are some team members who don’t feel comfortable with vulnerability, and you’re criticised for it, but without it, you’re feeding into a culture of perfectionism which is more damaging. Take a trauma-informed approach Understanding that people carry past experiences that shape their current behaviour, or that recent life events might have taken their toll, is crucial for empathetic leadership. A trauma-informed approach recognises these impacts and strives to create a safe, supportive environment. This perspective allows leaders to be more compassionate and responsive to their team’s needs without sacrificing their authority. By being aware of potential triggers and stressors, leaders can tailor their interactions to be more sensitive and understanding, fostering trust and cooperation. This approach aligns with Brené Brown's ethos of empathy as a connection, serving as “a ladder out of the shame hole.” It’s about creating a culture where everyone feels able to be honest about how they’re feeling and what’s impacting their lives, enabling a healthier and more productive workplace. Encourage open communication and honest feedback Creating a culture of open communication and honest feedback helps in understanding the needs and concerns of your team, and any potential risks to your business. Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga encourage “horizontal relationships” in the workplace, where team members are “equal but not the same”. This allows team members to express their ideas freely, and supports authentic communication. Oprah Winfrey aptly states, “Leadership is about empathy. It is about having the ability to relate to and connect with people for the purpose of inspiring and empowering their lives.” Open communication fosters a sense of community and mutual respect. Show genuine appreciation Recognising and appreciating your team’s efforts goes a long way in building an empathetic leadership style. Expressing gratitude, no matter how small, shows that you value and care about their contributions. This practice not only boosts morale but also reinforces positive behaviour without appearing insincere or overly lenient. Maintain objectivity While empathy involves understanding and sharing the feelings of others, it is important to remain objective when making decisions. Maya Angelou’s insight, “I think we all have empathy. We may not have enough courage to display it,” underscores the importance of balancing empathy with courage. Make decisions that are fair and just and ensure that your empathy does not cloud your judgment. Foster a supportive environment Create a workplace where support and cooperation are the norms. Encourage team members to support each other and build strong relationships. Harper Lee’s words, “You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view... until you climb into his skin and walk around in it,” remind us of the importance of seeing things from others' perspectives. A supportive environment enhances empathy across the board and cultivates a sense of belonging. By following these steps, leaders can inspire and empower their teams effectively. Empathy and strong leadership are not mutually exclusive but are, in fact, deeply intertwined.   By Lauren Seager-Smith, CEO of the For Baby’s Sake trust

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