For anyone who has read an article centred around emotional intelligence, there is a strong chance the two mains points covered were that emotional intelligence is the ability to recognise, understand and manage emotions, and all you need to do to improve it is to become aware of your emotions.
While both points are correct, what they fail to acknowledged is the extensive research and data centric tools that have been developed since the popularisation of the term, by psychologist Daniel Goleman. There is a direct correlation between low emotional intelligence and lack of self-awareness, making it difficult for someone with low EI to begin increasing their EI, solo. Even those who consider themselves to be emotionally self-aware, often do not have the scope of understanding to articulate the 15 characteristics that define their EI.
Since the initial introduction of EI, we have learnt the exact characteristics that make up an individual's EI, to the extent that we can pinpoint where they sit on a scale of high to low EI, what their likelihood of success in a leadership position is and how their unique EI makeup dictates their behaviour.
Want to get an edge on your competition?
Self-Perception
Without a healthy sense of inner confidence the journey for an entrepreneur or business owner can be a constant battle of self-doubt. Am I good enough? Maybe I’m not cut out for this? I’ve had another no, I’m failure.
Spending time developing a strong sense of self-belief creates the foundation for your business. Focus on what’s working and what has gone well. Keep a record of all the wins and reasons you chose this path in the first place. Know it’s OK to change direction and think of it not as failure but experimentation.
Self-Expression
55% of communication is non-verbal, so what are you telling the people around you? Are you walking into your meeting with an air of confidence or are you carrying the rejection from your first meeting that didn’t go so well. Are you self-directed in your approach or do you constantly look to others to tell you want direction to take?
To improve self-expression you need to learn which emotions are hard for you to express and start to share them with close confidants. Pre-empt the situations where you might lack assertion and give yourself the tools to practice standing up for yourself. For example, if negotiating makes you uncomfortable, be clear about what is up for discussion and what is a a hard no.
Interpersonal
How do we connect with our customers, improve brand loyalty and motivate and inspire team members? Through interpersonal skills. This involves utilising empathy to understand how others operate and to appreciate their point of view. Being able to articulate someone else’s perspective helps us to understand what they need, how we can solve it and diffuse conflict. Empathy is your secret weapon to building connection, community and a loyal client based.
Decision making
From product inventory, marketing initiatives, operational efficiency and budget management, the decisions made by a business owner are endless. If we are unable to separate emotion from decision making, the results are likely to be irrational and impulsive. Step 1 in separating emotion from decision is to recognised when we feel an overwhelming emotional response. Step 2 is to delay the decision and step 3 is reality testing. Data collection, speaking with advisors and getting an external perspective will help us understand alternative perspectives and make objective decisions.
Stress management
Our capacity to handle stress comes down to our outlook on life and ability to adapt to unpredictable situations. Do you see set-backs as a sign you are doomed or a natural part of the journey? Accept that things won’t always go to plan and that external pressures are out of your control, but know that whatever comes your way you have the strength to handle it.
If you are interested in taking the EQ.i 2.0 assessment to learn your overall emotional intelligence score and unique make-up, you can contact me on jenna@leverageeq.com. Assessments cost £195 per person, include a 60 minute debrief and improve your resilience and leadership capability.
